Project K.I.S.S

Hey tumblr peeps! We are so SO close to our art show that is...

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 14:57:18 -0400

Hey tumblr peeps! We are so SO close to our art show that is THIS SUNDAY, March 17th from 5:00-8:00pm! The excitement is building!! Our show will be running in Brooklyn, NYC’S The Living Gallery till March 23rd till 8:00pm that night!

FREE, FUN, PUBLIC EVENT!
We will be raffling off Beats by Dre headphones (woo!) and providing all you lovelies with free food ,beverages and free & confidential rapid HIV testing!

Come out March 17th from 5:00pm-8:00pm to The Living Gallery BK to check out some great art, wonderful performances by Love Lee & Jana Lynne Umipig. Bring some friends too! See you there!

Click HERE to be directed to our facebook event page!

We hope to see you there! Invite some friends to come along!

asexual-not-a-sexual: Here is a brief guide to some of the...

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 16:22:24 -0500

asexual-not-a-sexual:

Here is a brief guide to some of the important things you never learned about in sex ed.

Debunking myths about anatomy

Slut-shaming and consent

Various types of birth control (with at least 95% effectiveness)

Masturbation

Lube

Sex toys

Ebook for sharing is [HERE] (I’m sorry I just really love making ebooks…)

thesexuneducated: Here it is! This is my advice on how to tell...

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 16:21:40 -0500

thesexuneducated:

Here it is! This is my advice on how to tell someone you have already had sex with that you have herpes! I specifically refer to genital herpes in the video, but it applies to oral herpes (and other std’s) as well. I hope this helps some of you in your pending discussions.

- The Sex Uneducated

tsotchke: green-street-politics: cresscross: knowledgeequals...

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 16:14:26 -0500

tsotchke:

green-street-politics:

cresscross:

knowledgeequalsblackpower:

blackaudacity:

RASHIDA: I wouldn’t trade my family for anything. My mother shocked her Jewish parents by marrying out of her religion and race. And my father: growing up poor and black, buckling the odds and becoming so successful, having the attitude of “I love this woman! We’re going to have babies and to hell with anyone who doesn’t like it!”

KIDADA: We had a sweet, encapsulated family. We were our own little world. But there’s the warmth of love inside a family, and then there’s the outside world. When I was born in 1974, there were almost no other biracial families–or black families–in our neighborhood. I was brown-skinned with short, curly hair. Mommy would take me out in my stroller and people would say, “What a beautiful baby…whose is it?” Rashida came along in 1976. She had straight hair and lighter skin. My eyes were brown; hers were green. IN preschool, our mother enrolled us in the Buckley School, an exclusive private school. It was almost all white.

RASHIDA: In reaction to all that differentess, Kidada tried hard to define herself as a unique person by becoming a real tomboy.

KIDADA: While Rashida wore girly dresses, I loved my Mr. T dolls and my Jaws T-shirt. But seeing the straight hair like the other girls had, like my sister had…I felt: “It’s not fair! I want that hair!”

PEGGY: I was the besotted mother of two beautiful daughters I’d had with the man I loved–I saw Kidada through those eyes. I thought she had the most gorgeous hair–those curly, curly ringlets. I still think so!

KIDADA: One day a little blond classmate just out and called me “Chocolate bar.” I shot back: “Vanilla!”

QUINCY: I felt deeply for Kidada; I thought racism would be over by the eighties. My role was to put things in perspective for her, project optimism, imply that things were better than they’d been for me growing up on the south side of Chicago in the 1930s.

KIDADA: I had another hurdle as a kid: I was dyslexic. I was held back in second grade. I flunked algebra three times. The hair, the skin, the frustration with schoolwork: It was all part of the shake. I was a strong-willed, quirky child–mischievous.

RASHIDA: Kidada was cool. I was a dork. I had a serious case of worship for my big sister. She was so strong, so popular, so rebellious. Here’s the difference in our charisma: When I was 8 and Kidada was 10, we tried to get invited into the audience of our favorite TV shows. Mine was Not Necessarily the News, a mock news show, and hers was Punky Brewster, about a spunky orphan. I went by the book, writing a fan letter–and I got back a form letter. Kidada called the show, used her charm, wouldn’t take no for an answer. Within a week she was invited to the set!

KIDADA: I was kicked out of Buckley in second grade for behavior problems. I didn’t want my mother to come to my new school. If kids saw her, it would be: “your mom’s white!” I told Mom she couldn’t pick me up; she had to wait down the street in her car. Did Rashida have that problem? No! She passed for white.

RASHIDA: “Passed”?! I had no control over how I looked. This is my natural hair, these are my natural eyes! I’ve never tried to be anything that I’m not. Today I feel guilty, knowing that because of the way our genes tumbled out, Kidada had to go through pain I didn’t have to endure. Loving her so much, I’m sad that I’ll never share that experience with her.

KIDADA: Let me make this clear: My feelings about my looks were never “in comparison to” Rashida. It was the white girls in class that I compared myself to. Racial issues didn’t exist at home. Our parents weren’t black and white; they were Mommy and Daddy.

RASHIDA: But it was different with our grandparents. Our dad’s father died before we were born. We didn’t see our dad’s mother often. I felt comfortable with Mommy’s parents, who’d come to love my dad like a son. Kidada wasn’t so comfortable with them. I felt Jewish; Kidada didn’t.

KIDADA: I knew Mommy’s parents were upset at first when she married a black man, and though they did the best they could, I picked up on what I thought was their subtle disapproval of me. Mommy says they loved me, but I felt estranged from them.

While Rashida stayed and excelled at Buckley, Kidada bumped from school to school; she got expelled from 10 in all because of behavior problems, which turned out to be related to her dyslexia.

KIDADA: We had a nanny, Anna, from El Salvador. I couldn’t get away with stuff with her. Mommy knew Anna could give her the backup she needed in the discipline department because she was my color. Anna was my “ethnic mama.”

PEGGY: Kidada never wanted to be white. She spoke with a little…twist in her language. She had ‘tude. Rashida spoke more primly, and her identity touched all bases. She’d announce, “I’m going to be the first female, black, Jewish president of the U.S.!”

KIDADA: When I was 11, a white girlfriend and I were going to meet up with these boys she knew. I’d told her, because I wanted to be accepted, “Tell them I’m tan.” When we met them, the one she was setting me up with said, “You didn’t tell me she was black.” That’s When I started defining myself as black, period. Why fight it? Everyone wanted to put me in a box. On passports, at doctor’s offices, when I changed schools, there were boxes to check: Caucasian, Black, Hispanic, Asian. I don’t mean any dishonor to my mother–who is the most wonderful mother in the world, and we are so alike–but: I am black. Rashida answers questions about “what” she is differently. She uses all the adjectives: black, white, Jewish.

RASHIDA: Yes, I do. And I get: “But you look so white!” “You’re not black!” I want to say: “Do you know how hurtful that is to somebody who identifies so strongly with half of who she is?” Still, that’s not as bad as when people don’t know. A year ago a taxi driver said to me, That Jennifer Lopez is a beautiful woman. Thank God she left that disgusting black man, Puffy.” I said, “I’m black.” He tried to smooth it over. IF you’re obviously black, white people watch their tongues, but with me they think they can say anything. When people don’t know “what” you are, you get your heart broken daily.

KIDADA: Rashida has it harder than I do: She can feel rejection from both parties.

RASHIDA: When I audition for white roles, I’m told I’m “too exotic.” When I go up for black roles, I’m told I’m “too light.” I’ve lost a lot of jobs, looking the way I do.

PEGGY: As Kidada grew older, it became clear that she wouldn’t be comfortable unless she was around kids who looked more like her. So I searched for a private school that had a good proportion of black students, and when she was 12, I found one.

KIDADA: That changed everything. I’d go to my black girlfriends’ houses and–I wanted their life! I lived in a gated house in a gated neighborhood, where playdates were: “My security will call your security.” Going to my black friends’ houses, I saw a world that was warm and real, where families sat down for dinner together. At our house, Rashida and I often ate dinner on trays, watching TV in Anna’s room, because our dada was composing and performing at night and Mom sat in on his sessions.

RASHIDA: But any family, from any background, can have that coziness too.

KIDADA: I’m sure that’s true, but I experienced all that heart and soul in black families. I started putting pressure on Mommy to let me go to a mostly black public school. I was on her and on her and on her. I wouldn’t let up until she said yes.

PEGGY: So one day when Kidada was 14, we drove to Fairfax High, where I gave a fake address and enrolled her.

KIDADA: All those kids! A deejay in the quad at lunch! Bus passes! All those cute black boys; no offense, but I thought white boys were boring. I fit in right away; the kids had my outgoing vibe. My skin and hair had been inconveniences at my other schools–I could never get those Madonna spiked bangs that all the white girls were wearing–but my girlfriends at Fairfax thought my skin was beautiful, and they loved to put their hands in my hair and braid it. The kids knew who my dad was an my stock went up. I felt secure. I was home.

RASHIDA: Our parents divorced when I was 10; Kidada went to live with Dad in his new house in Bel Air, and I moved with Mom to a house in Brentwood. Mom was very depressed after the divorce, and I made it my business to keep her company.

KIDADA: I wanted to live with Dad not because he was the black parent, but because he traveled. I could get away with more.

RASHIDA: At this time, anyone looking at Kidada and me would have seen two very different girls. I wore my navy blue jumper and crisp white blouse; K wore baggy Adidas sweatsuits and door-knocker earrings. My life was school, school, school. I’m with Bill Cosby: It’s every bit as black as it is white to be a nerd with a book in your hand.

KIDADA: The fact that Rashida was good at school while I was dyslexic intimidated me and pushed me more into my defiant role. I was ditching classes and going to clubs.

RASHIDA: About this time, Kidada was replacing me with younger girls from Fairfax who she could lead and be friends with.

KIDADA: They were my little sisters, as far as I was concerned.

RASHIDA: When I’d go to our dad’s house on weekends, eager to see Kidada, the new “little sisters” would be there. She’d be dressing them up like dolls. It hurt! I was jealous!

KIDADA: You felt that? I always thought you’d rejected me.

RASHIDA: Still, our love for the same music–Prince, Bobby Brown, Bell Biv DeVoe–would bring us together on weekends.

Read more at http://bossip.com/623483/rashida-jones-sister-kidada-agrees-she-passed-for-white-but-did-the-mean-girls-at-harvard-scare-her-away-from-dating-black-men-forever/#AxIHmVqHuf2MRIoj.99

Awesome story. Great journalism.

im glad they interviewed them both, instead of just rashida. I definitely relate to this hard, esp to “IF you’re obviously black, white people watch their tongues, but with me they think they can say anything. When people don’t know “what” you are, you get your heart broken daily.”

and

“Passed”?! I had no control over how I looked. This is my natural hair, these are my natural eyes! I’ve never tried to be anything that I’m not. Today I feel guilty, knowing that because of the way our genes tumbled out, Kidada had to go through pain I didn’t have to endure. Loving her so much, I’m sad that I’ll never share that experience with her.”

jfc so many feels while reading this. most of this made me cry.

I know this is long but I definitely relate to this. Super glad they interviewed them both as well. I don’t pass for white but my sister does and we both very strongly identify as Latina. I really like how Rashida touched on having half of her identity erased in a lot of instances.

Photo

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 16:08:04 -0500

VISIT/LIKE Our GAIA page here...

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 17:16:00 -0500

VISIT/LIKE Our GAIA page here -> https://www.facebook.com/GAIAarts

We will have our first informational meeting for Girls Advocacy Initiative through the Arts - GAIA next WEDNESDAY January 9th at 4:30 pm in Manhattan,NYC !
Location to be determined!!

PLEASE SHARE AND LET US KNOW IF YOU’D LIKE TO ATTEND!

Feel free to invite some friends to attend with :)! Thanks! See you all there!

bepositive-ph: Don’t be silly, wrap your willy.

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 14:35:46 -0500

bepositive-ph:

Don’t be silly, wrap your willy.

GET INVOLVED WITH GAIA- Girls Advocacy Initiative through the...

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 14:30:00 -0500

GET INVOLVED WITH GAIA- Girls Advocacy Initiative through the Arts here in NYC with Project KISS!

We need to recruit 10-15 young women 13-24 years of age to participate!

We also welcome community organizations to partner with us to provide girls and workshop space. We are looking to identify teaching artists and social justice educators who are interested in presenting topics on women’s health and social justice issues, and/or an art-making experience!

Thanks! Contact Kiss through here, Facebook or emai Vanessa Ramalho at var2007@med.cornell.edul if interested!

HEY ALL! In January through March 2013, Project K.I.S.S. will...

Wed, 19 Dec 2012 14:56:23 -0500

HEY ALL!

In January through March 2013, Project K.I.S.S. will implement Girls Advocacy Initiative through the Arts (G.A.I.A.), an arts-based curriculum that explores HIV/AIDS, health literacy, and other social justice issues that affect women’s and girls’ access to health resources and HIV testing. Workshops and exhibition will be in the NYC area.

Looking for girls who are 13-24 years of age to participate. We welcome teaching artists and social justice educators who are interested in presenting topics on women’s health and social justice issues, and/or an art-making experience as well!

LIKE our GAIA page on Facebook and to get updates on this project! Share with your friends and those who might be interested in participating/volunteering!

Thanks!

I love the heteronormativity, and by extension the phallic-normativity of sex ed.

Mon, 10 Dec 2012 02:40:34 -0500

world-of-whit:

icanbirthmyself:

world-of-whit:

“Always use a condom during sex.”

Ugh.

well you know we all need a little more humor in the bedroom, maybe they mean for you to blow them up into balloons?

Oh damn. You totally got me with this one: I never even thought of that…

Sex with balloons… and a pillow fort for good measure!

You’ll be happy to know that Project K.I.S.S. does NOT teach sex ed like this. At K.I.S.S, we encourage thinking of sex as a broad spectrum of acts that enables two (or more!) people to give and receive mutual pleasure and satisfaction.

We’re very serious about making our educational workshops and risk-reduction counselling queer-positive. We boil sex acts down to what fluids are being exchanged, and encourage actions (or inactions!) that limit a person’s contact with these fluids.

Wearing a condom is a great way to limit contact with fluids that transmit HIV and other STIs! But is that the only way? Does that fit with everyone’s identity, lifestyle, or sexuality?! No way!

Workin’ with two or more vaginas and not a penis in sight? Finger cots, dental dams, clean sex toys, and limiting the exchange of vaginal fluid are great ways to reduce your risk for STIs.

Two or more penises? Even just switching up top and bottom is one (small) way to reduce your risk. Anatomically the person being penetrated is always at a greater risk.

Don’t like how a condom feels on your penis? The female condom is a great alternative - polyurethane, thinner than latex, it can be used for anal or vaginal sex, no constriction on the shaft, and it can be inserted up to 8 hours before sex.

Honestly, if you want to have penetrative sex and you don’t know your partner(s)’ status (no matter how any involved party identifies), barrier protection is the best way to prevent HIV. Condoms, be they standard “male” condoms or the fc1 or fc2, are 98% effective when used correctly.

That being said, if you really don’t like condoms and you engage in routine partner testing and keep an open door of communication with your partner(s) … let’s just say condoms are not the be all and end all of safe sex, though they do help a whole lot.

babyperez: I was talking to an ex-lover a few weeks ago and he told me that I was masculine. “I...

Fri, 16 Nov 2012 17:00:37 -0500

babyperez:

I was talking to an ex-lover a few weeks ago and he told me that I was masculine.

“I am…?”

I wasn’t quite sure how to respond to something like that because I consider myself to be both masculine and feminine, but I think he meant something else. He was purposefully omitting my femininity in order to compliment my character. I think he was speaking of effeminacy as a pejorative and I really hate that. In truth, most of what he perceived in me as “masculine” behavior was actually in emulation of the black women that have raised me, not men. They identified as women, but chose not to live under the oppressive, violent yoke of the men in our lives (my grandfathers and my father, too). Some of them never married nor had children. I don’t understand how someone could relate that to masculinity or not. That sounds more like freedom of choice.

siriuslymagic: so i’m thinking of writing my human sexuality term paper on female adolescent...

Fri, 16 Nov 2012 14:02:35 -0500

siriuslymagic:

so i’m thinking of writing my human sexuality term paper on female adolescent sexuality/gender roles, nymphomaniacs, or on gender role stereotyping and how it leads to rape.
suggestions, comments, opinions? message me!

Boost!

Also check out SPARK! - they promote a lot of content about the sexualization of girls … for girls, BY girls!

when boys say they don't like to use condoms, I cringe a little inside

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 17:00:31 -0500

wefellinloveattheseaside:

like, I hope that means that you’re only having sex with one girl who is only having sex with you (and you both have been checked for disease), and I hope she is on a viable form of birth control

STIs and and pregnancy is not a joke, people

^ this

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Thu, 15 Nov 2012 14:00:47 -0500

Photo

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 17:00:51 -0500

flash-art-by-quyen-dinh: New Gypsy print available here! by...

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 14:02:00 -0500

flash-art-by-quyen-dinh:

New Gypsy print available here!

by Quyen Dinh

It’s not too often that we address race on this blog, but, being an organization that focuses on Social Justice, we cannot ignore intersectionality. And, when dealing with the romanticization and exotification of women, race/ethnicity and sexuality are often closely connected.

Just as Native women are often portrayed as “wild” and “free” (part and parcel of the traditional portrayal of Native Americans as “savage” that justified their extermination), Romani women are portrayed as exotic, over-sexual, and “free.” “Gypsy” tattoos, albeit beautiful, are really goddamn racist.

What is the reasoning behind most non-Roma’s fascination with Walking People? What makes someone identify with “gypsy culture”? What makes someone emulate it? An idea that “gypsies” are free? Consumed with wanderlust? Off the grid? Thrifty & endearingly criminal? People without borders? Mystical?

Just as with Native Americans, Europeans have used these stereotypes as excuses to ostracize Roma, drive them from their communities, discriminate against them, bar them from receiving equal education, passports, and other legal documents, and systematically kill them. Today, Roma in countries such as Hungary and Romania have a life expectancy around 10 years less than that of non-Roma, less access to health care, and many Roma children do not proceed past primary education. That’s 6th-8th grade, folks.

Romany women are also oversexualized, portrayed in literature and art as odalisque-like figures — mysterious, exotic, serpentine, with sexy dance movies and a well of forbidden pleasure. This oversexualization of Roma women, much like the oversexualization of Native American and Black American women, has historically (and currently) supported greater rates of sexual assaults in their communities. The more sexually promiscuous a woman is perceived to be, the harder it is to override this perception in instances of sexual violence. Rape of Black and Native American women has been historically justified by scientific “theories” that they are biologically or simply culturally more promiscuous than white women. The same goes for Romany women.

Beyond this, “gypsy” is a pejorative. Like “redskin,” like “gook”.

So yeah, if you’re thinking about getting a “gypsy” tattoo, especially if you’re a) not Romani and b) getting it for reasons related to the perceived “freedom” and “mystery” of Roma peoples, step back for a second and ask yourself if, based on the historical and continued discrimination against this ethnic group, that’s really all that appropriate.

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Wed, 14 Nov 2012 14:00:25 -0500

BEFORE YOU EMBIGGEN PLEASE NOTE: TRIGGER WARNING:...

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 13:28:19 -0500

BEFORE YOU EMBIGGEN PLEASE NOTE:

TRIGGER WARNING: TRANSPHOBIA/HOMOPHOBIA/HATE/BULLYING

emizu:

A perfect example of people who didn’t get the point at all.
These were comments on the “You can’t be a princess” video on youtube, about a little girl and a little boy in a store, wanting halloween costumes that weren’t ‘meant’ for their gender. The girl wanted to be spiderman and the boy wanted to be a princess.

[You can watch it HERE]

On: Being a Man

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 13:19:15 -0500

iamnotmabelpines:

I never quite got gender roles honestly. To me, the idea that a man has to act one way, and a woman another is just complete bullshit. If there is one thing that would kill a relationship for me, it is a woman only agreeing with me because I am the man. I don’t even wear the pants in my own relationship admittedly, and still it’s a pretty even handed relationship lately.

I also don’t get how it seems like, at least in Churches, these roles are strictly enforced. The Ladies Club or whatever always puts on the bake sales. The men’s clubs put on camping trips or something that I have no interest in, thus making me feel like an outcast. The women have their book groups, while the men do something else I have no interest in. The book group sounds interesting but no, as a man, I must like freezing my butt off outside and stuff. Then I hear how I need to be a leader in my family because I’m the man, but then there is little old me, unsure of himself. The men sit around and discuss this stuff, while I sit bored because the discussion came off as simple or I am confused because I have no confidence in myself as the sole leader of the family. I mean, I know their relationships are more even handed than they would like to admit, but at this point, it’s like a macho “grrrr we are man” moment.

So here I sit, the simple little writer, at 12:30 in the morning, wondering once again how he compares to other men. Wondering how I compare to other men of God, and men in general…. the same problem I always seem to face.

I always wonder what we define as man. Is it just having a penis or is it something more, and how does being a non-macho man make me look in the world? Right now I sit with three John Green Novels, my mockingjay pin, and am still amazed at how adorable and sweet my friends proposal was. I mean I guess I have sportscenter on in the background, but it’s not much. (and with the NHL lockout what’s the point). I have no interest in playing Black Ops, but that’s because I suck at FPS. I mean, I know I am a man. It’s just by comparison, I don’t feel that manly, and normally it seems to be shoved in my face that I’m not.

-Cheers.

This is a great piece! I love hearing reflections on gender from men.

Keep on exploring and writing. The world is certainly not limited to man/woman and there’s so much wiggle room! Be thankful you have the complexity and lived experience that allows you to question these lenses, so many people don’t even know they’re in a box! Your voice is valuable and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Feel free to reach out !

-M

hi-im-textual: Come on! This is funny! so cute! <3

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 13:05:42 -0500

hi-im-textual:

Come on!

This is funny!

so cute! <3