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14

Nov

chanelbenoist:

i dont understand heterosexual sex I mean do you just stop after someone orgasms like the first person is the winner or something

I love this!

As a queer someone who has had a good amount of heteronormy sex under my belt (ah, the good ol’ days), and as someone who works in sex education, I can say with a good amount of confidence that most people DO view sex as a means to an end - the end being an orgasm, and the means often inattentive and self-serving.

Here at K.I.S.S. we teach that sex is a series of acts meant to give and receive mutual pleasure and satisfaction. Each of these acts can be performed individually, or as building foreplay. It’s up to the individual. Also, each of these acts carry a different set of risks. The heteronormative definition of “sex” as “penis in vagina” is an idea that promotes exposure to fluids as well as an expectation for the penis to perform (without delay or pre-maturity or lackluster interest) and the vagina to receive in order for partner satisfaction to occur. 

Where does this idea come from? It’s certainly not limited to heteronormative sex; many gender roles and sexual expectations are mirrored in non-normative relationships, such as the top/bottom double standard in gay male culture. Does it have its roots in sex as a purely reproductive rather than recreational act? 

There are a lot of questions and misrepresentations here.

Firstly, was sex ever purely reproductive? People have been fooling around for centuries. Extramarital affairs, premarital affairs … the definition of “sex” as “penis in vagina,” the argument that sex is not biologically complete until ejaculation holds no water because I doubt people have ever really adhered to that, especially before birth control and abortion procedures existed or were widely available.

So, if “sex as a means to (potentially) reproductive ends” does not have roots in biology (obviously it does at some primitive/instinctive point but it is not historically supported in practice — people have had sex for lots of reasons for thousands of years — as pleasure as currency), where are its cultural roots? How long has sex been viewed as a game, a race, sport?

Sex has been compared to a hunt in English poetry since the 14th century or even earlier. Women’s sexuality was a spoil of war until … well, it still is. It’s in our language — someone’s a “player,” “chasing tail,” “gettin’ it.” And there’s always an active partner and a passive partner. (giving it up vs getting it)

And what about that baseball metaphor? I mean, what’s the point of even stepping up to the plate if you’re not going to hit a grand slam? I mean, we can’t all be starting pitchers, and there’s nothing wrong with a single — but why be content with getting to first base when you can steal second? 

Sex needs to be relearned, not as a hunt or a game or a sport. Okay, I guess sex can still be a game, but it has to be a high-stakes game that everyone can win. 

Anyone for some dice?

:P

- A very caffeinated Meaghan

(Source: jauregle)

05

Sep

Updates!

Hey y’all, just wanted to share a couple new things that have been going on on our end!

First off, we got refunded! Yay! 

Secondly, our wonderful program director Jacquel Clemons just left us for the greener, more familiar, hot hot hot pastures of the ATL. Jacquel has done an incredible amount of work for our organization and for HIV intervention/education in general. Thanks to her invaluable work we set the standard for adolescent HIV outreach and care in NYC! Best of luck to her in all future endeavors!

Thirdly, soon we’ll be starting year 2 of our unique Young Men’s Initiative program in Long Island City. This time around we hope to involve the young men in inter-gender conversations with a focus on arts and documenting their educational process.

Last, but coiiitenly not least, if you’ve noticed there’s occasionally been a -G popping up in the by-lines of our blogs! Say hello to Giselle, Peer Advocate numero dos, who has been picking up my slack in social media land while I get a ton of data entered and filed. Giselle is awesome, she’s an amazing illustrator/graphic artist as well as a fierce advocate, so look forward to her posts!

Love and good juju,

30

Aug

Stigma of H.I.V. Is a Barrier to Prenatal Care

Fear of being stigmatized as an AIDS patient is still a major barrier to good care for pregnant young women in many countries, a new study and a literature review have found.

This short article caught my attention because it was hurtful beyond words on reading how Stigma impacts people’s mentality and reaction towards healthcare and confiding your status to others. It can be incredibly hurtful and frightening when medical providers and others are misinformed and discriminate instead of being supportive and informative. Care, support, education and encouragement can go a long way in helping others have productive, healthy and long lives.

-G

16

Jul

We’re gearing up for our PREMIER Young Men’s Summit this Saturday!
If you’re in the New York City area you should definitely check it out!
This summit, presented by Project K.I.S.S. in collaboration with the Young Women of Color HIV/AIDS Coalition,  is the culminating event for Project KISS’ Young Men’s Initiative in Long Island City, Queens, which brings together young men between the ages of 13-24 to engage in dialogue around sex, love, and health through the lens of social justice and advocacy education.  It is the goal of this initiative and summit to empower young men of color in New York City to challenge and questions media and hip hop culture, as well as work to dismantle patriarchy and sexism as a re-imagining of healthy masculinities toward a RADICAL MANHOOD.
Featuring workshops, performances, guest speakers, give-aways, & free HIV testing and counseling!
If you plan to attend please RSVP here

We’re gearing up for our PREMIER Young Men’s Summit this Saturday!

If you’re in the New York City area you should definitely check it out!

This summit, presented by Project K.I.S.S. in collaboration with the Young Women of Color HIV/AIDS Coalition,  is the culminating event for Project KISS’ Young Men’s Initiative in Long Island City, Queens, which brings together young men between the ages of 13-24 to engage in dialogue around sex, love, and health through the lens of social justice and advocacy education.  It is the goal of this initiative and summit to empower young men of color in New York City to challenge and questions media and hip hop culture, as well as work to dismantle patriarchy and sexism as a re-imagining of healthy masculinities toward a RADICAL MANHOOD.

Featuring workshops, performances, guest speakers, give-aways, & free HIV testing and counseling!

If you plan to attend please RSVP here

15

May

It’s funny because lesbians don’t have to use condoms.

crank-up-the-bass:

Lolololol.

ACTUALLY

Vagina und vagina sex definitely puts you at risk for tons of STIs! If you don’t know your partner well, limit fluid exchange, use dental dams (or non-microwaveable saran wrap or cut/unroll a condom) during cunnilingus and keep sex toys clean!

For more info on HIV/STI risk factors and prevention tips for lesbians, bisexuals, and other women who have sex with women, check out this post

11

May

jasinjawsh:

Primer on Trans*/Non-trans* Guys
Pamphlet and content therein belongs to respective owners, only shared because this is awesome.

Also this is hanging up in our room.

This is really cool!!

23

Apr

There has never been a documented case of HIV transmission through sex between women.

emilyunderscoremarie:

^that right there.

This is not true. This is medical misinformation.

Though their level of risk is not equal to that of their heterosexual counterparts, lesbians, bisexuals, and other women who have sex with women (WSW) are still at risk for HIV and should still be practicing safe sex.

The CDC released this statement in 2006, but in the same study they also acknowledged that there have been several documented cases of WSW being infected with HIV.  Many times this is because of high-risk behaviors such as unprotected sex with men or previous sexual histories with HIV+ men and intravenous drug use. There are also socioeconomic and heterosexist factors, such as an inability to access queer-friendly health care which can lead to less comfort discussing safe sex with health care providers.

Plus one must remember that sexual identity or “orientation” does not always line up with sexual activity. The definition of “lesbian” differs from person to person, and from culture to culture. A woman can identify as a lesbian but still have casual sex or polyamorous sex with a male partner. And where does this leave women who identify as lesbians whose female partners might not necessarily be female-bodied???

The fact of the matter is that women, especially women of color, are the most at-risk group for contracting HIV.  The other fact of the matter is that vaginal fluids do transmit HIV, as does menstrual blood. Though it is much easier to contract HIV via semen/precum and penetrative sex, safe sex is of paramount importance to all communities, be it the MSM community, the WSW community, or just among straight people.

What’s sad is that safer sex techniques for lesbians, bisexual women, and the WSW community are almost never addressed. This is heterosexist. There are many ways that a woman who has sex with women can reduce her contact with fluids that transmit HIV. Using barrier protection when sharing sex toys, not sharing sex toys, using dental dams during menstruation, etc.

One also has to keep in mind that HIV is not the only STI out there. WSW are still very much at-risk for infections such as HPV/genital warts, genital herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, etc.

The bottom line is that HIV is a virus. It neither privileges nor discriminates based on gender or sexual orientation.

For more information about HIV risk among WSW, click through!!

20

Apr

bug chasing

let-it-stand:

ok, so let’s stop saying “these people are fucking stupid and gross” and let’s think about why some people think that getting “the gift” would be a good thing — as queers who are marginalized by our sexualities we are taught that we will eventually get HIV or something else and we deserve it and there are a lot of fucked up conversations surrounding this and we need to start by not critiquing the person, but culture at large, who make us believe this shit, and educating and PROTECTING (not just sexually, but i’m talking emotionally and mentally here) our fellow queers. 

^^^^^FROM THE ROOFTOPS

The only time I’ve ever heard substantiated stories about “bug-chasing” have been in serodiscordant relationships that are, frankly, abusive - where one partner feels guilty or desires that solidarity with their partner when seroconcordancy doesn’t necessarily have to be the answer, but rather proper health care, better access to and information about resources such as ARVs and low-income/queer-friendly clinics, and mental/behavioral/relationship support.

18

Apr

fucking-ap0calypse:

Condoms suck.

If I don’t have to use them, I won’t.

That is all.

17

Apr

geekology101:

A 3D illustration of HIV.
Source: labspaces.net

geekology101:

A 3D illustration of HIV.

Source: labspaces.net