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14

Nov

chanelbenoist:

i dont understand heterosexual sex I mean do you just stop after someone orgasms like the first person is the winner or something

I love this!

As a queer someone who has had a good amount of heteronormy sex under my belt (ah, the good ol’ days), and as someone who works in sex education, I can say with a good amount of confidence that most people DO view sex as a means to an end - the end being an orgasm, and the means often inattentive and self-serving.

Here at K.I.S.S. we teach that sex is a series of acts meant to give and receive mutual pleasure and satisfaction. Each of these acts can be performed individually, or as building foreplay. It’s up to the individual. Also, each of these acts carry a different set of risks. The heteronormative definition of “sex” as “penis in vagina” is an idea that promotes exposure to fluids as well as an expectation for the penis to perform (without delay or pre-maturity or lackluster interest) and the vagina to receive in order for partner satisfaction to occur. 

Where does this idea come from? It’s certainly not limited to heteronormative sex; many gender roles and sexual expectations are mirrored in non-normative relationships, such as the top/bottom double standard in gay male culture. Does it have its roots in sex as a purely reproductive rather than recreational act? 

There are a lot of questions and misrepresentations here.

Firstly, was sex ever purely reproductive? People have been fooling around for centuries. Extramarital affairs, premarital affairs … the definition of “sex” as “penis in vagina,” the argument that sex is not biologically complete until ejaculation holds no water because I doubt people have ever really adhered to that, especially before birth control and abortion procedures existed or were widely available.

So, if “sex as a means to (potentially) reproductive ends” does not have roots in biology (obviously it does at some primitive/instinctive point but it is not historically supported in practice — people have had sex for lots of reasons for thousands of years — as pleasure as currency), where are its cultural roots? How long has sex been viewed as a game, a race, sport?

Sex has been compared to a hunt in English poetry since the 14th century or even earlier. Women’s sexuality was a spoil of war until … well, it still is. It’s in our language — someone’s a “player,” “chasing tail,” “gettin’ it.” And there’s always an active partner and a passive partner. (giving it up vs getting it)

And what about that baseball metaphor? I mean, what’s the point of even stepping up to the plate if you’re not going to hit a grand slam? I mean, we can’t all be starting pitchers, and there’s nothing wrong with a single — but why be content with getting to first base when you can steal second? 

Sex needs to be relearned, not as a hunt or a game or a sport. Okay, I guess sex can still be a game, but it has to be a high-stakes game that everyone can win. 

Anyone for some dice?

:P

- A very caffeinated Meaghan

(Source: hellafruit)

05

Sep

Updates!

Hey y’all, just wanted to share a couple new things that have been going on on our end!

First off, we got refunded! Yay! 

Secondly, our wonderful program director Jacquel Clemons just left us for the greener, more familiar, hot hot hot pastures of the ATL. Jacquel has done an incredible amount of work for our organization and for HIV intervention/education in general. Thanks to her invaluable work we set the standard for adolescent HIV outreach and care in NYC! Best of luck to her in all future endeavors!

Thirdly, soon we’ll be starting year 2 of our unique Young Men’s Initiative program in Long Island City. This time around we hope to involve the young men in inter-gender conversations with a focus on arts and documenting their educational process.

Last, but coiiitenly not least, if you’ve noticed there’s occasionally been a -G popping up in the by-lines of our blogs! Say hello to Giselle, Peer Advocate numero dos, who has been picking up my slack in social media land while I get a ton of data entered and filed. Giselle is awesome, she’s an amazing illustrator/graphic artist as well as a fierce advocate, so look forward to her posts!

Love and good juju,

27

Aug

Pictures from our 4th annual LOVE REVOLUTION show are here! Check out our photo album on Facebook by clicking the link below!
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.3686486883048.139623.1301436745&type=3
So many great people with tons of energy and talent united for a great event and an even greater cause! The message to call for attention and change in regard to HIV/AIDS stigma was loud and clear! Stigma kills, but love heals!
Don’t forget to be our friends here on tumblr, TWITTER and FACEBOOK~!
xo
Project K.I.S.S.

Pictures from our 4th annual LOVE REVOLUTION show are here! Check out our photo album on Facebook by clicking the link below!

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.3686486883048.139623.1301436745&type=3

So many great people with tons of energy and talent united for a great event and an even greater cause! The message to call for attention and change in regard to HIV/AIDS stigma was loud and clear! Stigma kills, but love heals!

Don’t forget to be our friends here on tumblr, TWITTER and FACEBOOK~!

xo

Project K.I.S.S.

21

Apr

24

Nov

He told me later that he hadn’t been kissed in years. He went home that day and burned the DNR card he kept in his wallet.

#IHTM: My Husband is HIV+ (just so you know, this post will probs make you weep) » (via xojanedotcom)

this article is amazing!

29

Sep

two things that came to mind.

lhiv:

pozliving:

The first two things that came to mind when I heard my diagnosis:

1. Will I be able to share food with people? (answer: Yes)

2. Will I ever be able to find love with HIV? (answer: Chances are slim)

Though a legitimate fear, I don’t think your answer to number two is necessarily true.

27

Sep

happinesslooksgorgeousonyou:

Advertising safe sex ;)

happinesslooksgorgeousonyou:

Advertising safe sex ;)

23

Sep

johnny-vox:

I Love My Boo campaign features real young men of color loving each other passionately. Rather than sexualizing gay relationships, this campaign models caring, and highlights the importance of us taking care of each other. Featured throughout New York City, I Love My Boo directly challenges homophobia and encourages all who come across it to critically rethink our notion of love.

GMHC is the world’s first and leading provider of HIV/AIDS prevention, care and advocacy. Building on decades of dedication and expertise, we understand the reality of HIV/AIDS and empower a healthy life for all. GMHC fights to end the AIDS epidemic and uplift the lives of all affected.

19

Sep

FOR TEENS

zero-tollerance-:

You always have the right to say “no.”

when you have sex is your decision!!